Bring on the happy music

I'VE JUST WRITTEN MY FIRST DISSERTATION DRAFTTT.. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

A month before it's due in.. I praise whomever thought THAT was a good idea. Yes it will be ripped to shreds by my tutor.. and YES I will hate looking at it for the next month, but that's an incredible foundation to be working on.

Other news: I'm much happier being in southampton than being at home. Don't get me wrong, I love being home and seeing my family, and especially so when my big sister's around. But at least being in southampton I am myself, I have friends around who don't drive me mental and places where I enjoy having a drink. Home isn't what it used to be for me anymore. I can't stand seeing some people, and I hate the fact I've overdone everything that there is to do there. Very few of my best friends are around at the same time, and even when they are we can't hang out like we used to.

I hate how much my ex boyfriend riles me. He constantly frustrates me. And I hate that he annoys me so much that I begin to talk about it, because as soon as I begin to talk about it I can't stop myself and then the fact that I'm talking about it frustrates me further.

moving on. University life is too short. Just as I feel like I'm making the most of it it's being ripped out from under my nose, and I'm being rubbish at trying to figure out what to do afterward. It seems people want or need me to be at home, which isn't where I'm happy anymore, but I want to support those who need me and who I owe support to.. It's a catch 22. I also get myself tied up in frustration when I feel like I'm no use. Those who console me and support me are so strong and wise that I feel like whatever I say means nothing and if anything comes over as patronising. Recent activities have perhaps demonstrated this to not be the case when someone i did think was very wise and mature acted in a very childish manner. See. Emotions once again making you oversee the rational. I hate that they do that.

Anyway. I like a boy. It's fun. I know I shouldn't like him, cause he's not the type of man I could see myself being mentally stimulated by, which is what i need.. but there again.. emotions oversee the rational. And while I don't have to commit myself to anything serious I shouldn't stop myself having fun.

fun's important to maintain in the tough times. Thus the stupid amount of shopping I've been doing since Dad put money in my account. oops.