I'VE JUST WRITTEN MY FIRST DISSERTATION DRAFTTT.. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
A month before it's due in.. I praise whomever thought THAT was a good idea. Yes it will be ripped to shreds by my tutor.. and YES I will hate looking at it for the next month, but that's an incredible foundation to be working on.
Other news: I'm much happier being in southampton than being at home. Don't get me wrong, I love being home and seeing my family, and especially so when my big sister's around. But at least being in southampton I am myself, I have friends around who don't drive me mental and places where I enjoy having a drink. Home isn't what it used to be for me anymore. I can't stand seeing some people, and I hate the fact I've overdone everything that there is to do there. Very few of my best friends are around at the same time, and even when they are we can't hang out like we used to.
I hate how much my ex boyfriend riles me. He constantly frustrates me. And I hate that he annoys me so much that I begin to talk about it, because as soon as I begin to talk about it I can't stop myself and then the fact that I'm talking about it frustrates me further.
moving on. University life is too short. Just as I feel like I'm making the most of it it's being ripped out from under my nose, and I'm being rubbish at trying to figure out what to do afterward. It seems people want or need me to be at home, which isn't where I'm happy anymore, but I want to support those who need me and who I owe support to.. It's a catch 22. I also get myself tied up in frustration when I feel like I'm no use. Those who console me and support me are so strong and wise that I feel like whatever I say means nothing and if anything comes over as patronising. Recent activities have perhaps demonstrated this to not be the case when someone i did think was very wise and mature acted in a very childish manner. See. Emotions once again making you oversee the rational. I hate that they do that.
Anyway. I like a boy. It's fun. I know I shouldn't like him, cause he's not the type of man I could see myself being mentally stimulated by, which is what i need.. but there again.. emotions oversee the rational. And while I don't have to commit myself to anything serious I shouldn't stop myself having fun.
fun's important to maintain in the tough times. Thus the stupid amount of shopping I've been doing since Dad put money in my account. oops.
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
It's been a while
Its been a while since Ive written on here. Today is intended on being a productive day and I must say I classify blogging as productive.
Well I've been at home here and there and it's been interesting. Really hard to stay strong sometimes, when the family is going a bit mental in a variety of ways. It was at first a nightmare to try and get work done, but I've managed to write 2500 words, ish, while i've been here... I've seen very few people other than my family which is a shame in a way, but everything is so different now. I was uploading some years old photos not too long ago and it really made me nostalgic about years ago and having a childhood. When it used to be fun just to sit in the middle of a shitty town and talk, and throw paint around and cause harmless havoc to the town. But very few of the people I was putting pictures up would I still consider myself close to. And its sad. So many of the boys have gone off to uni and lead their own life without so much as a thought to the old times, and some others just have different interests to me. I'm not naming names, but nor do I want people to assume I'm refering to them, if i still talk to you then it's not going to be you i'm refering to.. Talking of which I've been really glad to have made a bridge with an old friend. Even if it is only made of string and not big gurt metal chunks.. There's at least something tying us together again. Lots of stupid complications and chinese whispers and interferences have made it difficult for us two to communicate properly. But she's a good lass whom I have nothing against whatsoever, just many things said to me made me feel like she had something against me. Seems that was very much all stupidity which has since been resolved, and I'm happy. I admit you cant be everyones friend all the time but there's no point being anyone's enemy. Unless they frustrate you to the point that you dred even saying hello.
anyway, boys.. there's something every girl always feels the need to talk about. The other week I managed to sleep in the bed of someone i'd always had a little soft spot for. Its great because the 'love games' are barely games.. unlike others. There are some people who say one thing, but I swear they mean another, might be because I've lost a whole lot of trust in people, but it may also be because people aren't who they say they are. Love game are for idiots. I say be you and do what you want to do, cause at the end of the day t hat's the you that at the end of the day you want the other to want. Don't be anyone but yourself cause you're making the other person like someone you're not.
The next 2 months are going to be tough for a number of reasons, saying goodbye to friends, deciding what to do with my life, supporting the family and actually trying to do the best work of my entire degree course in that time. The future lies ahead of me, and I don't like how it's looking right now. too overcast and foggy. GIVE ME SUNSHINE.
Well I've been at home here and there and it's been interesting. Really hard to stay strong sometimes, when the family is going a bit mental in a variety of ways. It was at first a nightmare to try and get work done, but I've managed to write 2500 words, ish, while i've been here... I've seen very few people other than my family which is a shame in a way, but everything is so different now. I was uploading some years old photos not too long ago and it really made me nostalgic about years ago and having a childhood. When it used to be fun just to sit in the middle of a shitty town and talk, and throw paint around and cause harmless havoc to the town. But very few of the people I was putting pictures up would I still consider myself close to. And its sad. So many of the boys have gone off to uni and lead their own life without so much as a thought to the old times, and some others just have different interests to me. I'm not naming names, but nor do I want people to assume I'm refering to them, if i still talk to you then it's not going to be you i'm refering to.. Talking of which I've been really glad to have made a bridge with an old friend. Even if it is only made of string and not big gurt metal chunks.. There's at least something tying us together again. Lots of stupid complications and chinese whispers and interferences have made it difficult for us two to communicate properly. But she's a good lass whom I have nothing against whatsoever, just many things said to me made me feel like she had something against me. Seems that was very much all stupidity which has since been resolved, and I'm happy. I admit you cant be everyones friend all the time but there's no point being anyone's enemy. Unless they frustrate you to the point that you dred even saying hello.
anyway, boys.. there's something every girl always feels the need to talk about. The other week I managed to sleep in the bed of someone i'd always had a little soft spot for. Its great because the 'love games' are barely games.. unlike others. There are some people who say one thing, but I swear they mean another, might be because I've lost a whole lot of trust in people, but it may also be because people aren't who they say they are. Love game are for idiots. I say be you and do what you want to do, cause at the end of the day t hat's the you that at the end of the day you want the other to want. Don't be anyone but yourself cause you're making the other person like someone you're not.
The next 2 months are going to be tough for a number of reasons, saying goodbye to friends, deciding what to do with my life, supporting the family and actually trying to do the best work of my entire degree course in that time. The future lies ahead of me, and I don't like how it's looking right now. too overcast and foggy. GIVE ME SUNSHINE.
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